The Weight of Grief
Let's be honest, I was curvy well before my mother passed away last year. I'm an emotional eater; when I'm happy, I eat cheesecake, when I'm sad....I also eat cheesecake. Yea, so it shouldn't have been a shock to me that while dealing with the death of my Mom, I packed on a few pounds....but it did...and still does.
Don't be mistaken, I love my curves. Every dimple and roll told my story of living, and I had accepted and embraced who I was, but I was struggling with this new body and the story it constantly replayed in my mind. I came to the conclusion I had packed on 40 pounds in less than a year because of grief. Grief? Really universe? I was not prepared for that. It just snuck up on me. I already struggled with weight issues, and my emotional eating cycle. My Mom was now my emotional eating trigger. How would I begin to overcome this? I made it a goal for 2017 *read here*, but already lost momentum (who has been there?!). Here's what I'm working on...who knows, maybe it will help you too.
1) Stress is BAE for Weight Gain
This is critical. Having the awareness that my stress eating is emotional and unruly was my first step. Being in a state of denial is understandable, but in order to get a handle on this, I had to do some detective work in my life. When I get stressed, I eat to feel comforted, and I choose foods attached to positive memories (childhood, love, my Mom, etc.). Knowing THIS...is life changing. Am I still stressed? Duh, who isn't, but at least I understand what the heck is going on when I step on the scale and gain 5 pounds. #AwarenessisBAE
2) It's OK to still be Sad and not have all your Sh*t Together after a loss
But don't self-destruct. SO important. Even when you feel like throwing in the towel. Acknowledge your grief, and accept that is a major influence over your current circumstances. It's tough work getting back to pre-grief mindset, if you ever get back. I think it's about adapting with your current feelings and moving forward with the pain. #AcceptanceisBAE
3) Allow the Pain to be a Champion for Change in Your Life
My Mom was my greatest supporter. When I think about her, it's both painful and beautiful. She was a headstrong woman, and accomplished great things. If she were here with me, having her coffee and talking about the nature of this post, she would challenge me every step of the way to change. I always felt beautiful in her eyes, and she was my champion in all solid decisions I made. Knowing this helps me feel grounded. She's with me, rooting on a positive change in my life...and if I fall, the thought of her love and strength will help me get right back up. #SupportisBAE
Like I said, these are things I am currently working on. I don't have it all figured out. My starting point may be different than yours, and I challenge you to find what grounds you....to be continued.
I'd love to hear from you! Share your thoughts.
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