A Personal Note on Mother's Day
WARNING: There is profanity in this post….and it gets worse before it gets better. Hang in there with me.
All I want to do is gather my thoughts and write, but my kids are screaming in the background and fighting over Pokemon cards. I’ve already told them twice to just leave each other alone and find something else to do. Of course, they completely ignore my advice and decide to play a game. Legos, books and colored pencils are scattered across the carpet. I tell the kids to clean up one activity before moving to the next one. Once they clean up the first mess, I find out they are starving because they haven’t eaten in the last hour. Never mind the 4-part lunch I made that was both nutritious and tasty…theses kids clearly wouldn’t make it another minute without a big meal. I make another meal for the kids. They only take a few bites and then they are back at playing. All I want to do is gather my thoughts and write, but there is laundry to be done and I need to start a grocery list for the next week, go over homework expectations with my school-aged child and replace all the hole-y socks in my husbands drawer. I set out to the department store to buy new socks and get sidetracked by a sale…on kids clothes. My 10 minute errand turns into 2 hours before I know it. I’m now $100 lighter,but my kids have jeans with no holes in them…for now. All I want to do is gather my thoughts and write, but life keeps getting in the way…and I’m tired.
Being a Mom is fucking exhausting.
There…I said it…and it felt good saying it. I feel like I am stuck in a time loop of ciaos some days. Now, don’t get it twisted, I’m a great Mom. From pulling boogers out of my kids noses, to helping them navigate school-aged friendship drama, I’m game for it all. I’m just saying, let’s not pretend it doesn’t come at a cost, though. I have all the gray hairs, extra weight and sleepless nights to prove it. Can I get an Amen?
So why write about this on Mother’s Day; the day we celebrate having and being the best Moms? I’m writing about what’s real, because not only should we be celebrating the greatness of Moms everyday, we should also be aware of the darkness of today as well. On that note, let’s dive right in.
THIS JOB DOES NOT COME WITHOUT SACRIFICE. Hopefully this isn’t a spoiler alert, but there are so many great Moms that do not get recognized for their blood, sweat and tears love on Mother’s Day. More importantly, there are Moms being showered with love and admiration on Mother’s Day who struggle believing they are worthy. Deep down feel like they are doing a shitty job because they have feelings like I mentioned in the first paragraph. When you want to take time away for yourself to invest in yourself, as a Mom it can be a real pain. Guilt is a son of a bitch and takes the joy right out of the job. Yes, #MomGuilt is a real thing people and we need to do a better job helping each other overcome it. Chasing your dreams does not make you a bad Mom. Creating space to breathe does not make you a bad Mom. You are not a bad Mom!
How do you balance it all, then?
I really don’t know if I have an answer to this one. As Moms, we just keep moving forward. For the most part, everything gets managed and prioritized…with the exception of your ME time. We always throw ourselves to the bottom of the list. Let’s be honest- how many of us actually get so many things done that we make it to our name to cross off at the bottom of the list? Listen, I’ve had organize my closet on the list for 4 years…
But is it all worth it?
Absolutely it’s worth it. For every bandaid, hug and kiss, secret handshake, late night cuddles and deep belly laughs make it worth it. And there’s more than that. For every Mom it’s different, but all good Moms will tell you they wouldn’t trade their journey to these little goobers for anything. My advice and the point of this little rant to you Mama is don’t forget YOU. It’s easy to do…but resist at all costs. Take the ME time. Set boundaries. Give yourself a break (and a pat on the back).
You are doing your best. Even though it’s fucking exhausting and you can’t gather your thoughts. You’re amazing and your children are better because of you.
Happy Mother’s Day
From fellow Mom Boss,